Acknowledging happiness

On a recent trip to Israel, I suddenly realized something I have been doing wrong all these years. Like many others, I occasionally bitch and whine about misfortunes. Granted, not too often anymore, and, even when I do, it is performed with enhanced awareness. But when bad luck, or simple stupidity for that matter, strikes, I blame everyone involved and their stepmother too. Why? Maybe because I am used to believe it will make me feel better; maybe because I was conditioned to do so, as that is what everyone else seems to do. Or, maybe it’s just plain ignorance. As mentioned, I do not conduct myself that way much anymore. I came to realize that whenever I point a finger, I play the role of the victim, and that is not such a good idea; it disempowers me.

In case you are wondering, this is not what I recently realized. The idea of being a victim is included at the first chapter of any decent self-help book; no great insight there. What I realized is that I do not take the time to acknowledge my happy moments. Here I was, enjoying a short, albeit forced, vacation; visiting people I love, having wonderful aromatic coffee I adore, feeling free of obligations, (even if that was only a temporary illusion) – it felt good, real good. I was driving along some highway and experienced a sense of immense joy rising in me. Rather than let that moment pass, I called out loud (mind you, I was alone in the car, but who knows, it may have been even more interesting if I had company around…) “I am happy! Right now – let it be noted: I am happy!”

Why? Why is important to announce such a feeling to the world? This is my two cents psychology: we tend to go through life acknowledging mostly our screw-ups, our sad and challenging moments. We gain sympathy when we tell others of our miseries. When we tell someone else, unless it is a true loving close friend, of our success, of a happy moment we had, they may mutter a brief “congratulations,” but behind it lives envy, jealousy. Thus, over time, we are conditioned to expect and acknowledge only the low points of our lives. Not good.

Therefore I started a new practice. I take the time to recognize and nurture happy moments. Turned out that I have many more of these than I initially realized. Or maybe, just maybe, such moments, when receiving recognition, start to multiple and grow; like flowers denied of light that are suddenly exposed to the sun. Yes, on occasion I may still default to my old conditioning. But as with most of my other practices, I accept it takes time and persistence to replace the old with the new.
p.s. If you ever need encouragement, call, email or text me. I promise to do my best to cheer for your happy moments!

Learned from: a road trip and a happy moment that grew by observation.

happy-flowers1

Happy Flowers

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About Ronen

Ronen Divon had been walking spiritual and holistic paths for well over thirty years. Born in Israel, educated in New York, and currently residing in North Carolina, Ronen had traveled the world, spending time with teachers, masters, healers and guides. With wisdom that spans multiple traditions, including the Far East, India, Israel, Brazil, Peru, and Native America, Ronen remains a student, learning and adding modalities that will best serve his clients, each according to their own unique needs. Ronen is also a published author, a Yoga, Meditation, and Tai Chi instructor.
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2 Responses to Acknowledging happiness

  1. Smadar says:

    Beautiful.

    Thank you.

    BTW,

    A few days ago you’ve written about not-good-days when no action should be taken.

    Do you happen to have some other tool,

    For days of depression?

  2. Ronen says:

    It really depends on the possible causes and circumstances. If you have control over your day i.e. no burning commitments you cannot cancel, maybe make a conscious choice to spoil yourself rotten, take a day off, read that book you always wanted to read, go for a massage. Maybe the depression (non-chronic) is your body’s way of telling you enough stressing out… The idea is not to reward yourself for feeling down, or else you may end up conditioning yourself for feeling depressed in order to get a treat, but rather, as mentioned elsewhere in the blog, ask yourself “what is the meaning of this?” Bad feelings, good feelings, what is the meaning of this – and not the logical reasoning your brain may try to come up with, but something deeper that comes from intuition. Sometimes surprising reasoning will surface and give you an insight. Maybe it is as simple as you indulging on too much sugar yesterday and today your body is letting you know it wasn’t a very good choice. Maybe you have been sitting on an important decision for a little too long and as a person of action, you get depressed by lack of action. I use meditation for digging deeper. Not always it works but the more I try the more likely are answers to surface. Hope it’s a little helpful. With Love. Ronen

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