My ears often perk up whenever I utter the words, “I have to…,” or “I had to…”
I am working on conditioning myself to avoid those words.
Similarly, I’m cautious when I hear others claim, “I have to go to work,” “I had to vote for him/her,” or, “I had to put my pet down.” The only thing we really have to do, is breathe. Everything else is optional. That includes food and drink, or else demonstrators could never go on a hunger strike. Granted, a no-breath strike would be, literally, short- lived, but that’s besides the point…
When we use have or had, all we are doing is seeking justification to an action we do have a choice for; and that is why those words are more dangerous than they may, at first, seem. Have and had give us permission to act without taking full ownership. “It looked like he was holding a gun so I had to shoot him.” “I have to work at this stinking job or else how would I pay my bills?” “I cannot stand him but I have to stay with him.” Have and had dispower us. My aim is to replace those with choose: “I choose to go to work,” “I chose to vote for him/her,” “I choose to put my pet down.”
Now I really have to finish this blog post and move on to do the other things I have a choice about doing…
