Let’s face it – some days life just sucks. During such times, I wish I had a button to skip that day, or just click fast-forward. Suck days include instances of receiving bad news, of facing conflicts, of experiencing challenging raw emotions including but not limited to anger, sadness, fear, and grief. Why can’t we experience love and joy all the time?
Motivational speakers are split on this matter. Some will tell us that we can be happy all the time, that it’s just a set of mind. Others will encourage us to go through the emotions, find our courage, our center, and other such things motivational speakers are in the habit of saying. None are wrong and… none are right. It is good to remember that it is so easy to give advice to others, but when life sucks, it is what it is, no easy way around it.
As I seem to have lost my life’s remote control at birth, or maybe I mistakenly left it in the womb, skipping or fast-forwarding is not an option, at least not for me. I have to face the darkness and that’s that. But there are some words I keep in mind.
Will Rogers is quoted to have said, “If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.” Good advice. Often my most challenging moments are ones I myself created, or at least, incited. It is easy to blame others for what is going wrong with my life, but I am pretty much done playing the victim. It never served me any good. I learned to take responsibility for – well, everything. Even for a recent president (for the records – I didn’t vote for him.) Yet in some ways – maybe my choice to disengage from anything political, might have helped him rise to power. When I take full responsibility, I am empowered, and that is a good starting point for climbing out of the hole.
So long as I quote Will Rogers, another good quote from Will is, “Never miss a good opportunity to shut up.” I am still working on this one. Too often I am being reactive. I find that when I can hold my tongue, a difficult situation starts to resolve itself, while if I respond, I pour more gas onto the fire.
A quote, attributed to Winston Churchill, (although some question if it was he who said it,) “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” It is pretty much self-explanatory. I will only add that it may look contradictory to the quote about digging a hole, but it is not. The former is a hole you are digging, the latter is a hell you find yourself in. It is also a reminder that hell, at least in its human form – the one we create, does have an end.
A saying which came, or so I was told, from Hebrew – not sure by whom, is, “Don’t shorten your winters.” There is a reason a bad situation is happening, and a lesson to be learned. If we rush through it, we don’t absorb the teaching, and the lesson will return, likely with an even greater challenge. I therefore sit with it, let the winter’s cold in, and rather than focus on the challenge, I keep asking myself, what am I to learn from this? (aside of putting on warmer clothing.) Often, when I can get at the root cause, Spring appears.
This reminds me of another favorite quote, this one, if I am not mistaken, is by an Israeli singer named Matti Caspi. “You can’t rush French fries.” Yep. To get it just right, crisp and tasty, we need patience. To grow and evolve, I need patience, patience with myself, patience with others.
In the healing work that I do, we also say, “If you don’t face the darkness, the healing will never come.” Self-explanatory.
I’ll end with one more quote – this one is from The Science of Being Great: The Practical Guide to a Life of Power, a book that is almost a 100 years old, written by Wallace Delois Wattles. It’s not a book I can highly recommend as it’s a bit too religious to my taste, but one concept stuck with me which I like a lot. It is that everyone is perfect just as they are, we are just still evolving. We tend to judge, have expectations, projections. What I am realizing is that I should not judge a bud for not yet being a flower. Judgement, expectations, and projections, often account for these moments and days in my life that suck. It drains my energy, hides my inner light. I am not there yet in terms of no judgment, but then again, I am still evolving.