No Need To Be Right

Years ago, there was a campaign in Israel against road-rage, with the slogan, “On the road, don’t be just, be wise.” I find that, over the years, I care less about being just. To be righteous is an uphill battle. It is tiring and, ultimately, not worth it. I no longer need to convince others that my perspective is the only correct one. I let go. To each their own.

When I offend someone, which would typically be unintentionally, and it is brought to my attention, I am less defensive; I simply apologize. I seek peace and harmony, not to be right.

In recent weeks I had a couple of instances where actions I took and actions I didn’t take, were offensive to some people. In one instance, I forgot to offer condolences to a person who’s family relative had passed away. I was preoccupied with other matters, and since that person and I are not that close, it skipped my mind. When this was brought to my attention, I sent condolences and offered an apology for my tardiness. The apology was accepted and harmony restored.

In another instance, I made comments that to me sounded innocent, but were taken otherwise by the other party. Rather than trying to justify and defend my position, I offered an apology. If the other person chooses to accept it, that’s fine. If they do not, it’s their choice. While I elect not to be righteous anymore, I also set boundaries as to what I am willing and unwilling to do. “You cannot shake hands,” I believe it was Gandhi who once said, “with a clenched fist.”

The passing years, as well as the spiritual work that I do, taught me some hard-learned lessons. Being right all the time is not only tiring, it also prevents me from really listening to what the other person says as I am too busy defending my position. When I lower my defenses, I can hear, and adjust what I say and do. This is valuable so that next time I can do it better.

Photo by Sean Stratton on Unsplash

About Ronen

Ronen Divon had been walking spiritual and holistic paths for well over thirty years. Born in Israel, educated in New York, and currently residing in North Carolina, Ronen had traveled the world, spending time with teachers, masters, healers and guides. With wisdom that spans multiple traditions, including the Far East, India, Israel, Brazil, Peru, and Native America, Ronen remains a student, learning and adding modalities that will best serve his clients, each according to their own unique needs. Ronen is also a published author, a Yoga, Meditation, and Tai Chi instructor.
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