Why Jesus?

When I speak with a person who had an orthodox Christian upbringing, it is curious  how determined they seem to be that Jesus is the only Savior, and that anyone who would not follow the path they follow, is doomed to hell. Yet when I speak with an orthodox Jew, or a devout Muslim, they seem pretty sure that their path is the one absolute road to salvation. How similar orthodoxism (yeah, I know, not a dictionary word…) seems to be. There are some variants between the different religions, not to mention their many flavors (e.g. Catholicism, Baptism, Presbyterian, JW…) but the conviction remains the same.

Whatever path one follows, imagine being born into a whole different environment. If you are a Christian, imagine being born into an Orthodox Jewish or Muslim family. If you are Jewish, imagine being born into a Christian or Muslim family, and so on and so forth. From a very young age, you are being pounded with the belief system of your parents, teachers, and later on, your friends. It is a brainwash. Very few are able to, as they grow up, break away from that programming. That is no wonder. At a tender age we are most susceptive, and whatever our parents and other authoritative adults in our lives say, must be true.

Maybe Jesus was the son of God. I personally believe that we are all sons and daughters of God, but that aside, maybe he was the one and only Savior. Or maybe he was just a Jewish guy on a quest to end corruption that prevailed in the Jewish leading institutions of his time. Regardless, Jesus became a symbol and a deity representing something larger than life; an aspiration. The way I see it, one does not need to be a Christian to be inspired by Jesus, by St. Francis, or, for that matter, by the Buddha. If I can form a relationship with the vibrations these deities represent, they become energies I can call into my life at a time of need. To say that one is a Christian and then act in a manner that discriminates others for their ethnicity, gender, sexual identification, or any other such factor, is to say one thing and act another. My perspective is that to connect with St. Francis is all about charity and unconditional giving. To connect with the Buddha is to be an observant of suffering without becoming entangled in the drama. To connect with Jesus is to offer forgiveness without playing the victim.

The spiritual path is not one but many. We each walk our own unique trail, and rather than imitate what others tell us is the right way, we can have a direct experience with what is Divine for us. Doing so, we ultimately come to see that despite our differences, and maybe because of them, we all share the same Divine Heart. Names and titles of deities become somewhat irrelevant. Words and actions are what really matter. I love Jesus for what he represents for me. I love the Buddha and Quan Yin for what they inspire me to do. And with that said, I chisel my own path in this journey called my life.

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Vaccination, God and Science

COVIC vaccination, should one take it or not? This seems to be a topic of discussion for quite a few people these days.
I am no expert but here are some thoughts.

Those who oppose the vaccine, typically recruit either God or science to their aid. Many orthodox people claim there is no need to take it. For the believers, God will provide shelter. Others says that the vaccination had not been in use long enough to evaluate the long-term effects of this new treatment.

When it comes to God, an old joke comes to mind.
A guy who was a firm believer in God, found himself stuck on the roof of his house during a flood. Being who he was, he prayed to God for help.
Soon after, a man in a rowboat came by. Seeing the guy on the roof, the man in the boat called, “Jump over, I can take you with me to safety.”
The stranded guy calmly replied, “No, it’s okay. I’ve been praying to God and the Almighty is surely going to save me.”
So the man in rowboat rowed on.
The water continued to rise, and some time after, a couple in motorboat came by. Seeing the guy on the roof they called, “Jump in, we can save you.”
The stranded guy replied, “Thank you but no thank you. I’ve been praying to God. I have faith. God will surly save me.”
The couple in the motorboat wished him well and went on.
By then the water reached the knees of the guy on the roof.
A helicopter came by and the pilot called, “Here, grab this rope and I will lift you up to safety.”
The stranded guy again replied, “Thanks but no. I’ve praying to the good Lord. I am a believer and I know he will come to my aid.”
The helicopter flew away.
The water continue to rise and eventually the guy on the roof drowned.
Reaching Heaven, the drowned guy met God. “I had faith in you,” he complained, “but you abandoned me. Why didn’t save me and let me drown instead. I don’t comprehend, why?!”
“It is you I don’t understand,” came God’s answer. “I sent you a rowboat and then a motorboat, and I even sent a helicopter. What else did you expect?”

I can only imagine those orthodox people arriving in Heaven and voicing their grievance, and God replying, “I sent you a vaccine that was developed faster than any vaccine ever been offered. What else did you wish for?”

My other friends who oppose the vaccine, express fear of the unknown long-term side-effects. They suspect, and not without merit, a conspiracy of the government and the pharmaceutical companies. They believe that, with the help of the media, the government and pharmaceutical industry are bestowing fear on the public in order to sell more vaccinations, making some executives very wealthy. When it comes to trust in the government and the pharmaceutical companies, I tend to agree. Both provided us with plenty of opportunities to doubt their agenda. Yet, lets look at fear. It is my belief that the COVID virus is a manifestation of the global fear we have been experiencing over the past decade. I already did a blog post about this fear so I would not go into it again in great details. It is no surprise that COVID appeared and spread like wild fire at a time the administration in the USA, and elsewhere in the world, was promoting fear; fear of immigrants, fear of LGBT, fear of just about anything different. Fear brings about isolation. COVID allowed us to go into further isolation so that we can look at the fear and start to address it. And thus, while those who oppose taking the shot claim the government is scaring people into taking the vaccine, they themselves are subject to a fear of the unknown.

I Googled a phobia name for a fear of vaccinations. I found no such word expect for Trypanophobia which is a fear of needles. It is not the fear I am addressing here and I wonder when a new phobic word would be created to describe it. However, there is Xenophobia, which is a fear of the unknown. We all have some of it, yet we don’t let it stop us from getting up in the morning, believing we know how our day is going to go, yet feeling surprised when things don’t go as planned. It doesn’t prevent us from stepping into our cars and onto the road, a place where a million things can go wrong. Eating at restaurants, where we trust that those who prepare our food will keep hygiene and use safe products; and so on and so forth. Life is one big unknown.

The question is a matter of risk evaluation. What are the chances of one catching COVID and suffering the possible long-term effects of the disease, or even face death, versus taking a shot and risking its possible unknown futuristic effects. We each have our subjective opinion as no one really knows. Yet one may wish to ask themselves what sort of fear is controlling our decision. To claim that those who take the vaccination are acting out of fear is not to admit to one’s own fears. Whatever our decision, I suggest that we do not belittle others for what they believe is the right course of action for them.

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I understand

On occasion, I would find myself having a discussion with a person whose opinions and perspective are quite different than mine. There are also conversations in which the other party shares with me a challenge they are having. I used to see these situations as an invitation to provide my own opinion, or offer a word of advice. In the case of a difference in opinion, that would often lead to friction in which each party is trying to prove the other wrong. In the case of the other person sharing a challenge, the advice I provided was not always welcomed.

What I have learned is to simply listen, listen without making any comments. When the other person finishes to present their case, I would reply with, “I understand.” If my opinion is different, I understand does not mean I agree; just that I have heard them.

When it comes to a friend sharing a challenge, I do not offer an advice unless asked. The most that I will do is ask permission to offer my thoughts, saying, “can I offer my opinion?” When asking for permission, if granted, the other party is more likely to hear what I have to say. If they do not accept my advice, it is their choice, and I have learned to honor it.

This may be a little trickier with a spouse, a partner, or with my kids. Yet, they are no different. Working in the Light means that I commit to honoring the free-will of others, whether they agree with me or not. At times it is a challenge, especially when it is very clear to me that their choices are misguided, and may even lead them to harm. But it is the path I am choosing. I am learning to trust and have faith that if they stick to what they believe, it is by design and not mine to alter.

All this is still work in progress as I am shifting from old patterns into new ones.
Next time you see me and have something to say, if you hear me reply with “I understand,” you will understand why. 🙂

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So you made it to the position of the CEO, Doctor, Lawyer, Shaman, Married Spouse, Parent. Now What?

Many of us set a life-goal and then work hard at making it. Then, one day, we are there.
Now what?

I often meet clients in my healing and wellness practice, who had a dream and were able to fulfill it, yet, they suddenly feel empty. Maybe it’s a career choice, maybe it’s finding a spouse, having a child, maybe it’s running a marathon. We are conditioned from childhood to be goal-oriented. Thus, we set on a life journey to fulfill what our heart seems to desire. But then it turns out that when we get there, find that perfect relationship we so longed for, that dream job, filled our bank account with a million dollar, that it’s not enough.

When we set tangible goals, as large as these may first seem, we set ourselves for a disappointment. Someone once said that behind every beautiful woman, there is a guy sick of sleeping with her. It seems we can never be fully satisfied with what we achieve. The solution? St. Francis:

O Divine Master, Grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

No, this is not a Christian or a religious blog post… It is a directive for living a fulfilled life.

It is in service that we find our peace. When we are of service, we are fully satisfied. The cup we wish to fill is never full. When we shift our focus from ourselves to those around us, there is no greater satisfaction. Pain and misery, darkness and fear can no longer linger within us.

When a President, a CEO, a Doctor, an Attorney, a Shaman, a Spouse, or a Parent, realizes that their role is to serve their country, employees, clients, family and friends, it is a goal that can never be entirely fulfilled, yet it is the most fulfilling. Our specific career path no longer matters. No matter what we choose to do, when we are of true service, we embrace the light and shine it onto others. The more we give, the more we receive.

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Understand and Agreeing

I find that there is a clear distinction between understanding and agreeing. These two terms may seem related, yet that is not the case.

When another person offers me her perspective and it’s totally different than mine, what would be my response? I may feel resentment, defensiveness, and rejection, but none of these reactions allow for a connection. Thus, while I may disagree with the opinion offered, I seek to understand the other party’s point of view. Granted, the other person may be aggressive in the way they present their view – as if it’s the absolute truth, but I realize that it is only their opinion, nothing more, nothing less. I can honor it without submitting.

To Illustrate I’ll use a radical example.
I can say that I understand the German people who supported the Nazis during WWII. How come? Given my Jewish roots I carry a lot of wounding when it comes to the Holocaust.
What I understand is that those Germans were a broken people after WWI; that Hitler gave them a sense of pride and hope; that hating Jews as a common cause was already a seed planted years prior by the church; thus creating fertile ground for things to come. I can understand all that and then some, but I still totally disagree with words spoken and actions taken. Yet, by understanding I am creating an open channel for communication, whilst if I reject the other side right at the start, we disengage and that usually leads to hostility of one sort of another. As Indira Gandhi once said, you cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.  

Understanding and agreeing, are not one and the same. I may hear the other party and disagree, but I can always strive to understand.

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Censorship and Freedom of Expression

How far should censorship go in a free society? Where is a balance struck between being sensitive to the feelings of a segment of the society and preserving the legacy of the past? Join Shane Lukas and Ronen Divon, express your opinion.

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Everything in life is a dance

One may dance alone,
or take a partner.
Someone leads,
the other follows.
Roles may be reversed,
or they may not.

If the partners are attuned and attentive,
the dance flows with harmony;
otherwise cacophony may take place.

At times the dance is a Waltz,
at times it may be a Samba.

Some stay with the one partner,
others like to switch.

Some may dance in private,
others in a ballroom.

Some dance as if their life depends on it,
some take frequent breaks and sit at the sideline watching.

Life is a playlist with a mixture of music.
Everything in life is a dance.

(c) 2021 Ronen Divon. All Right Reserved.

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Falling In and Out of Love

When we fall in love, we typically do not yet really know the subject matter of our love.
We may fall in love with a person, a place, a job, a pet, and even an inanimate object.
Falling in love, says Alan Watts, is an act of trust. Thus the word “fall.” We take a leap of faith, not knowing what the future holds in store for us, and thrust ourselves, often blindly, into the arms of the beloved.

Therefore, whom we fall in love with, is nothing but a figure of our imagination. This is important to understand. With some exceptions, such as falling in love with an old friend, one we knew for many years, and suddenly an arrow from Cupid makes us see that friend in a different light, we don’t really know who we fell in love with.

Over time, we get to know our newfound love, the person, the town we just moved into, our new workplace. It is then, more often than not, that we get disillusioned. This is because, hardly ever, our love subject can realistically meet the expectations set by our imagination. It is then that friction begins. We wish for them to be something they never were. Yet the fault is not theirs but our own. They were never that which we imagined. As the idiom goes, love is blind. We only saw what we wished to see; we ignored the rest. What follows is typically a disappointment. I love you, you’re perfect, now change, was the title of a 1997 musical comedy. It nailed it. The perfect we imagined, never was. When we realize it, we end up wishing to mold our beloved into the ideal existing only in our mind.  

As mentioned above, this process happens not only with a person.

We may land a dream job. The employer offers great benefits, amazing work environment, lovely co-workers. But after we work there for a while, the things we could not see when we were in love with this new job, suddenly surface. Maybe the company promotes the wrong people to managerial positions. We encounter dirty office politics. Benefits that look great at first, turn out to have catches we didn’t notice when we signed the employment agreement. We then fall out of love. Unrealistic expectations meet disappointment.

In another example, we may move to a new town that looks like the ideal place to live. Yet, after residing there for a while, the ideal we imagined in our mind, is not what transpired. Yes, we may still like the place in comparison with places we lived at prior, but, here too, we fell in love with something that never was.

Same applies with a leader we may follow, be it social, political, spiritual, religious, or otherwise. At first we think the world of this guru. We miss realizing that they are only human, with challenges and faults. Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, MLK, just human. There is much to be appreciated about some of these figures, to draw inspiration from, but when we idealized anything, we do wrong by both the subject matter and by us.

What I am learning over the years is not to evade falling in love. Falling in love is, well, lovely. Rather, I came to understand that it is a process. I realize that the intoxication that comes with falling in love is a form of illusion. I may allow myself to enjoy it for a while, yet if I surrender to this substance, disillusion must follow. Striking a balance between the joy of being in love and reality, is a skill I am developing. The key seems to be expectations. Realizing that the subject matter of my love is not the one that is changing over time. Rather, it is me who loses some of the blindness cast by Cupid’s arrow. Once I can accept that I fell in love with an ideal imagined only in my mind, I can be content with the relationship long-term, celebrating the nectar of falling in love, yet evading the disappointment that otherwise follows.

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Turning Anger into Compassion

When I was recently wronged by a close friend, hurt by her words and actions, I felt anger rising within me.
I didn’t like this feeling, and I was looking into a different approach. As emotions are energy in motion, what I wished for was to turn this energy of anger into compassion.
The words of Jesus came to my mind. “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” While I do not follow a religion, what these words mean to me, is that when someone wrongs me, they are missing the bigger picture, and often seek satisfaction in injury to others. Can I find within myself, I asked my higher-self, compassion for a misguided friend?

It turned out that I can. What this required, was for me, for just a few moments, to imagine myself being the other person; feel their feelings, identify with their wounding, past and present. Of course that I cannot fully do that. I can never step into someone else’s shoes as to do that I have to experience their entire life. But I can imagine. And when I did, I was able to understand and thus create a channel of unspoken communication; a connection. It does not mean that I agree with their words and actions, but this exercise did allow for compassion to appear at the doorstep of my heart.

Someone I know well shared with me, that a romantic relationship he had for a while, just ended. It was a great love affair, and the woman in the relationship was the one who chose to terminate it. While this was first done at good terms, shortly after, it became ugly. He found out that she is spreading tall tales and lies about him. He was hurt, feeling betrayed and confused. This was a woman he loved, and, at the time, still did. “How could she do this?” he confided with me? “Why is she so mean?”

While I was unable, nor wished, to justify her deeds, it gave me a chance to put my thoughts about compassion into practice. “Can you,” I asked this person, “see it for just a few moments from her point of view, taking into consideration her life’s journey?”
Turned out that this woman was severely abused as a child, and no less by her own mother, who belittled and even hated her from birth. She grew up without a father, never knowing who he was. Her world was filled with adults who were alcoholics and quite violent.
As an adolescence, she finally left home and got married at a young age to a narcissist. Laboring two kids she ended up splitting from her abusive husband, and, to support herself, entered a career of over twenty years as a sex worker. Thus, from a very young age, this person needed to do what she could to survive. It included telling lies and mastering the art of manipulation. My friend told me that at some point in their relationship, she bragged to him that she can manipulate most men, and quite a few women, to do as she wished. She has fierce sexual energy which she uses in a manner only someone with much practice can.
In her forties, this women finally departed from the sex arena, embarking on a spiritual journey. While she realized her past wounding, she never really released it. She thought she did, but these are very deep seated patterns. The healing was never complete.

When the relationship came to end, although by her own initiative, those old patterns kicked in. She had to tell herself a story, a tale in which she was abused, the victim, and my close friend had to be placed in the role of the abuser. If it meant lies and manipulation of facts into fiction, so be it. I trust that she actually believed her fictional tales or else she would have created an inner conflict. But much like the people who believe the Flat Earth Theory, the fact one believes in lies, does not make them true.
Taking all this into consideration does not mean agreeing with her behavior, but it does allow for compassion to rise, versus emotions of anger.

This is a place where faith can come in; faith that, ultimately, my friend’s friend, will find her way to the light without his assistance.
We all have our journeys to make in this life, our lessons to be learned. It is not our role to help others find their truth. We can only work on ourselves.

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What is God?

No one really knows what God is. We have ideas, beliefs, and convictions. But no one can provide solid proof that their experience is the only real one.
For me, God is unknown, but its expression is love and compassion, kindness and understanding to others.
Anyone who claims to be of God but that does not act in the manners of which God expresses itself, is living in delusion. That friend, unfortunately, does not walk the walk. She talks high talk, but her words and actions lack kindness and compassion. And as she is so convinced she is in God’s arms, she is unable to see how her deeds are anything but a reflection of the Divine.

I am leery of anyone who claims that they work with God, carrying God’s will. The zealots of Islam (and other religions for that matter,) perform horrific acts of violence in the name of God.
Years ago I followed a guru who claimed to be in God’s embrace. He allowed himself to abuse his disciplines on God’s behalf.
There’s a reason for the saying, “If you meet a Buddha on the road, kill him.” The one who claims to be a Buddha cannot be the real Buddha.
Thus my leeriness of proclamations related to God. I trust that the almighty doesn’t interfere in our day to day affairs. We live the Divine Plan our soul created ahead of arriving into this body, into this life. We are the actors in a screenplay we ourselves composed. God just provides the means for us to learn what we desire to learn every time we come back into a physical form.

I wish this friend, as well as others living in delusion, that one day they will realize their condition.
I realize that it is not my role to make the horse drink. All I can do is create circumstances in which those who wish, will see what they need to see.
Whether they see it or not, whether they transform or not, is not my responsibility.
I am releasing my savior complex. I let go. I have my own work to do on myself, and that is plenty.

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