Releasing the victim game

A recent post I made on Facebook triggered several puzzled responses. I felt it may be good to further elaborate on the topic in a blog post.
As I have not blogged in a long while, it also gives me a chance to write, so it’s a double win. 😊

First, here is the post I made:

When you realize that every single thing that happened to you, you invited into your life, everything changes.

Before I elaborate further, if you do not believe that we are all spirit souls incorporated into physical bodies, and that the life we live in this world is intended to teach us valuable lessons for growth, my post does not apply to you, nor will it make much sense. Please discard it and move on. If you feel offended, I am sorry you feel that way.

My personal belief is as follows:
That we are spirit souls incorporated into physical bodies for the purpose of learning and growing. That everything we experience in this life are challenges we, as souls, planned ahead of incorporating into a body. That we pick challenges we want to face for the purpose of growth. Where there is no friction, personal development cannot take place. In other words, when we are comfortable, very little learning can take place.
Here too, if you disagree with this statement, which I cannot scientifically prove, no further reading is recommended. We can just agree to disagree and move our own separate ways.

Some of the responses I received to my Facebook post included examples of rape, discrimination, cancer and the likes; all pretty challenging situations in which the person experiencing these did not elect to have them. I totally agree. Most, if not all people facing cancer did not wish to have that disease. Most, if not all rape victims did not want to be raped or else it would not be called rape. I will use these as examples to clarify my initial statement – about us inviting these challenges into our lives.

As a spirit soul residing in the astral plane, it is believed that its quite boring over there. Not much is happening as there is no room for action; no challenges, no growth. Someone once said in a song that heaven must be a boring place as nothing ever happens. What may transpire in the astral plane is that our soul designs a life to come back to, a life filled with challenges and friction for the purpose of learning and growth. For that we need assistance. We contract other souls and create this elaborate game-plan called a life. Some play the role of friends, others the role of a foe. Some help us, some challenge us. In much the same way we assist others by being their friend or foe.

Before coming back to this world, we have that game-plan erased from our memory. We incorporate into a body, human or otherwise, that we pre-select: gender, ethnicity, social status by birth, etc. Some of us choose an easy life with less lessons, some prefer more challenges. By the way, this game-plan theory is not mine to claim. I cannot take credit for it. Someone else (multiple people over millennia) came up with it, and I happen to take liking to it for reasons I will explain in a little bit.

When a little girl, a woman, a man, a person of any age, gets sexually or otherwise violated, they do not ask for it. And to make it crystal-clear, in my book the violators should be punished to the full extent of the law. I personally believe that rapists have a mental illness and that rather than incarcerate them only to have them released when their time is up and repeat their actions, I wish our society helps them while they are doing time, but that is off-topic. I wish to clarify that my statement did not mean to absolve the predators nor to place the burden of the attack on the victim. What it is meant to say is simply that each situation we experience was invited by our soul for the purpose of growth. A person who had been violated, sexually and otherwise (rape comes in multiple forms,) has choices to make. He or she can play the victim or they can look at what is it within them that they wished to learn from that situation. For some, and I know such people, the lesson was forgiveness and compassion. For others, it may be turning their own misery into a call for action where before they were apathetic.
I cannot stress this enough — that the statement was not blaming the victim nor celebrating the attacker. This is not about justice or moral codes. It is about the spiritual aspect of everything that happens to us in our lives.

Similarly, when one encounters cancer (or some other difficult health challenge,) they, as a person in this world, did not ask for it. Yet, as a spirit soul, they invited this friction for a certain lesson. I know people who have had cancer (or still do,)  which caused them to slow down and inspect if they are truly living a life worth living. It was a call to reflect. For others cancer served as a call to look inward at their own innate power. For all those who took the challenge as a lesson, there was growth. Some survived the challenge in the physical world, and some passed on, but even those who passed on, when leaving final words, mentioned that they are at peace knowing they accomplished what they came to do.

I do not wish to go into personal examples on this blog post nor to make it a long read. I had, and still have my own personal challenges; health, relationships, and otherwise. Prior to adopting this perspective, I had a victim mentality of “why me?” Once I was able to shift my perspective, every challenge became a call for adventure; an opportunity to learn. I no longer had “bad” experiences; only growth opportunity. As someone wiser than me once said, there is no good nor bad, only learning.

Also, I realized that if do not learn the lesson from the challenge, even if that specific friction will pass, it will come back in a different form. When I got the lesson, there was no longer to repeat it. Other challenges would come but not that specific one.

Even if all this (above writing) is a baseless theory, and the truth is that we have no souls; that we are born, we live, we die, and there is nothing beyond this life, the reason I decided to adopt this perspective is because it is empowering. If I invited and created my challenges, internal as well as external, I am coming from a place of power. When the view is that every friction is happening to me by no choice of mine, I have nothing left to do but be the victim. If I selected and design it, it is a different story all together. And isn’t our life one story of which we write one page at a time?


About Ronen

Ronen Divon had been walking spiritual and holistic paths for well over thirty years. Born in Israel, educated in New York, and currently residing in North Carolina, Ronen had traveled the world, spending time with teachers, masters, healers and guides. With wisdom that spans multiple traditions, including the Far East, India, Israel, Brazil, Peru, and Native America, Ronen remains a student, learning and adding modalities that will best serve his clients, each according to their own unique needs. Ronen is also a published author, a Yoga, Meditation, and Tai Chi instructor.
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1 Response to Releasing the victim game

  1. Aaron Zauber says:


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